“I’m speccy, ginger hair, really short, English, from the countryside, who stutters and beatboxes … that guy doesn’t become a pop star,”
(Ed Sheeran on ‘The Sum of It All’ Disney Plus Show)
Now young Eddie is clearly a massive global megastar.
And whilst everyone loves a rags to riches story - his above statement also troubles me a tad.
On the one hand it celebrates his against all odds victory to be monumental performer.
The exception to the rule who makes it big.
Which judging by the hard work and effort he made was definitely deserved.
BUT it does beg the question:
What about the rest of us?
Ed Sheeran Stock photos by Vecteezy
The vast majority of the world who have, in contrast, very average lives.
The danger of celebrating Ed’s triumph in this way is that it can easily denigrate our own lives in comparison.
Most of us haven’t sold out stadiums, written deep and meaningful lyrics sung across the world, and become a global icon.
So are we less?
Are our lives just all a bit pointless really?
I am hoping you think no because that’s a heck of a lot of pointlessness otherwise.
And I recently read something which illustrates this point further, which coincidentally involves rock musicians.
In Mark Manson’s book “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F***”, he gives the example of the original guitarist of rock band Metallica, Dave Mustaine, who the rest of the band booted out just prior to them getting famous. He was fueled by this rejection and worked incredibly hard to build his own successful heavy metal band (Megadeth) in the process. But Mustaine admitted that even all the success this brought him still left him unfulfilled, as Metallica ultimately became the more successful and bigger band.
In a similar scenario Pete Best, the original Beatles drummer, was given the heave-ho by Paul, Ringo, and John just before they got massive. Pete became very low, even suicidal, in the proceeding years. But over time picked up his music again, got married, had kids, and really enjoyed his life. He said that he was ultimately happy the way things turned out post Beatles, with his new life of marriage and children and all that this brought him.
The point Manson makes is WHAT we judge our success in life by, is what matters.
For Mustaine it was being bigger than Metallica. So despite all the trappings of fame and fortune he acquired with Megadeth he was still unhappy.
For Best it was family, connection, and enjoying his music. So missing out on the Beatles rock ‘n’ roll domination didn’t really matter ultimately.
And it’s the same for the Sheeran phenomenon I opened with.
If we all judged our life success on acquiring vast wealth, success and fame then only 0.000086 of us [1] are going to be happy.
The rest of us unfulfilled.
I see this play out even more in my kids generation with the Youtube and Tik Tok millionaires every kid appears to want to be.
And this may leave behind a whole heap of heartache in 10-20 years when these young people grow up to be ‘just’:
Teachers
Firefighters
Accountants
Cleaners
Shop workers
Personal trainers
Writers 🙂
Whatever it is it won’t match up if their life definition of success = Million Dollar YouTuber.
So for all of us young and old we need to look at what constitutes success.
For me I’ve always worked in a fairly non glamorous job, never had any major skills or talents that would get me famous, and am just a friendly guy with a few mates and loving family.
And that’s more than enough.
For me family is everything. The whole reason I got so interested in staying healthy and fit over 40 is to be there as long as I can for my own kids. To help guide and support them.
So whilst it would be fun to be a millionaire bespectacled ginger dude with a guitar - I’m OK being me.
Average.
Mediocre.
Non exceptional.
But happy.
What about you?
Does your success measure make you happy, or is it still slapping you round the head, or tormenting you, into an unpleasant and unenjoyable internal dialogue.
I hope not - but if it is then give this some thought and maybe re-evaluate what’s really important.
To better success metrics,
JFT Beach
[1] https://www.wired.com/2013/01/the-fraction-of-famous-people-in-the-world/
Same. At this point I just want to enjoy what I do, especially in my writing. And if I can make someone else smile or laugh when they read it, that’s a win for me!
My measurement of success is by feeling fulfilled. If I don't feel that from whatever I'm doing then I shouldn't be doing it!